As You Like It: Phoebe

As You Like It by William Shakespeare
Act 3 Scene 5

Phoebe:

I would not be thy executioner.
I fly thee, for I would not injure thee.
Thou tell’st me there is murder in mine eye.
'Tis pretty, sure, and very probable
That eyes, that are the frail’st and softest things,
Who shut their coward gates on atomies,
Should be called tyrants, butchers, murderers.
Now I do frown on thee with all my heart,
And if mine eyes can wound, now let them kill thee.
Now counterfeit to swoon, why, now fall down;
Or if thou canst not, Oh, for shame, for shame,
Lie not, to say mine eyes are murderers.
Now show the wound mine eye hath made in thee.
Scratch thee but with a pin, and there remains
Some scar of it. Lean upon a rush,
The cicatrice and capable impressure
Thy palm some moment keeps. But now mine eyes,
Which I have darted at thee, hurt thee not.
Nor, I am sure, there is no force in eyes
That can do hurt.

No Fear version can be found here. If you need it shorter, I suggest cutting it after "Lie not, to say mine eyes are murderers."

Can't Hardly Wait: Denise

Can't Hardly Wait by Deborah Kaplan & Harry Elfont
Denise: 

I know exactly who you are. You're Kenny Fisher. 
We used to play Miami Vice in my basement. 
You used to sleepover my house. 
You had to leave the hall light on every night. 
You're Kenny Fisher who used to buy me a card every Valentine's Day 
and a bag of those little hearts with the words on them. 
And you're Kenny Fisher who suddenly got too cool to hang out with me 
when we hit junior high. 'Cause, I was in all the smart classes, 
and 'cause my parent's didn't make a lot of money. 
And cause you desperately needed to sit at the trendy table in the cafeteria.

Sweethearts: Jasmine

Sweethearts by Aleks Horvat
Jasmine

What? Do I seem crazy? I'm not crazy! 
I may talk a lot but I'm not crazy. 
If you met someone really crazy I'm telling you, you'd know. 
The most disturbed person I ever met was my roommate Elizabeth. 
She was a borderline paranoid schizophrenic, 
worst halitosis in the world, bar none-and she was attracted to me-ewwwww. 
Although, she did come from a very wealthy family 
so when they came to take her out to dinner I cashed in my chips on that one. 
Don't look at me like that-YES I spent some time in a hospital. 
So! I'm not crazy. I'm NOT CRAZY! 
Although a lot of people do agree my Mom should have never had children. 
I shan't, I've had my tubes tied.